Monday 27 February 2012

MHSUEP - Review

MHSUEP Stands for "Mental Health Service User Engagement Project". Basically, it's a local charity organization to help people with mental health problems. To quote from their website, their aim is:

"To collaboratively engage, empower and support people with mental health issues in Medway to build confidence and participation in the design and delivery of services, to have a voice and meet others in similar situations through the provision of various groups"

From what I can gather and to sum it up: the organization's primary purpose is to facilitate a real-life bi-weekly forum whereby issues regarding local mental health services are discussed. The idea is to get feedback from people who have experienced local NHS health services so that these services can be improved. The organization's secondary purpose is to provide occasional activities for mental health suffers to get them out the house, tackle isolation and be with like-minded people etc. These include 'Art activities' and a 'Walk and talk' session.


How does this relate to me?

I have had issues with depression, anxiety, been through the health system and hoped the MHSUEP would prove to be something I could be involved in, get me out the house and most of all, the chance to develop friendships without the need to bullshit about how happy and positive I am! I'm still at the early stages of my transformation, so while I'd love to just do the normal thing of striking up conversations at the gym or in clubs, I also don't know if I'm ready for that. Or at least, meeting people this way takes a lot of pressure off.

Thoughts on the Forum:

It's a semi-formal meet held every 2 weeks and lasts for one and a half hours. I've checked it out twice so far and it has definitely been worth attending. There's an agenda and structure to each meet, which I love. Having topics to focus on and discuss, or listen to is so much better than a big free-for-all moan about our problems, like you might find in certain depression support groups for example.

The people there have one or two things in common with me although overall they are nothing like me! One thing we can typically all agree on is the inadequate way in which the health service is run! I'm not one to just bitch about it through ignorance, and I didn't join up to complain nor try to make a difference! But it seems pretty clear how certain health services could be drastically improved yet haven't been for no good reason, or there are huge gaps in care for patients which aren't being provided. I'm not alone when I describe my experiences with the NHS or private treatment and therapy in general.

Typical example of an inadequacy: if someone is depressed to the point they seek help, the best case scenario for most people is 6-10 sessions of an hour a week CBT or counselling, then you're left to fend for yourself whether you have recovered from the depression or not. Perhaps a small dose of therapy and maybe an antidepressant is enough to get the majority back on track..? I don't know. What I have learned is that it's not sufficient treatment for a lot of mental health sufferers, myself included. I appreciate money plays a big part in things and could discuss this issue in A LOT more detail, but suffice to say, when it comes down to it, sufferers of depression, anxiety and so on require long term support and such support is not being delivered or is difficult to find.

Regarding the other forum members: they all seem like nice enough people, but I don't feel there is potential to build the kind of friendships I'd like. I just seem to live differently and have a different attitude to the other members. Perhaps I feel I'm above them as my standard of living and expectations of what I want from my life are higher? Perhaps my age and gender play a big part in my feelings of disconnection also?
I guess it's not surprising that I can't relate to, say, the more typical 45 year old female addict with 2 kids, work aspirations limited to her part time job as a cleaner and spends her free time reading celeb gossip magazines. I'm the complete opposite- A 29 year old single guy, no addictive behaviours, no kids, aspires to be a competent artist and designer who likes video games and philosophy!
[Hmm! My personality is an enigma even to myself as I just don't seem to fit into any generic categories. I'll cover that in future posts!]

Thoughts on the Art Activities:

It's an informal meet held every week and lasts for one and a half hours. I've checked it out twice so far and it doesn't offer me a great deal to be honest. I wanted an excuse to go somewhere new to chat, do some drawing, and be inspired but half the members I've met on these activity days don't just have anxiety or depression issues, but a degree of learning difficulties too. Discussing quantum theory or philosophical, ethical debate isn't something I can get stuck into when I'm sat next to a couple in their 50s slurping on cups of tea, farting, burping and failing to colour in between the lines of a children's Disney colouring book! Lol. As someone who likes deep conversation and drawing to a near professional level, it's a pretty funny contrast! Admittedly there are a few others who I could have a more regular conversation with although I don't think it will be something I'll want to attend on a regular basis if at all any more.

Thoughts on the Walk & Talk:

This was what I had originally enquired about when I joined the group, although I've yet to go on one of the walks. They're on once a month so waiting for the next one to come around. Do I want to go on it already knowing the kind of people likely to attend? Hmm... not really. I'll think about it.

Final Thoughts:

Its always a good thing to have these kinds of groups available to those who want to attend. It's just a shame it doesn't really cater for me personally- In an ideal world it would be a support group for single/lonely 18-40 year olds who are committed to transforming their lives and situation from a state of social anxiety and negative thoughts into social confidence and a positive attitude.
Instead, the current format mainly just give it's 40-50 year old (primarily) members some place to be for one and a half hours a week. That's a start and better than nothing I guess. If I knew there was a need, I'd create my own support group!

Kudos to me for making the effort to check this thing out. It was a positive step in the right direction and you have to give these things a chance to know if they're worth doing or not :)

In an indirect way I liked the fact I felt I was better than most of the members I'd met. I'm sure they all have their own talents and values, but I dressed better, I looked more attractive, I seemed more intelligent, more socially capable and considerate of other people. Yes, yes, it's shallow and egoistical to think you're 'better' than others and get pleasure from that kinda thing, but right now I don't care. My self esteem is at a real low, so I am happy to boost it anyway I can, and perhaps later when I'm feeling more up to it, I can begin to find inner-peace and confidence without needing to stoke my ego by comparing myself to others worse off than me.

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