I feel anxious every day from the moment I wake up.
It's a constant level of anxiety which has a big impact on the quality of my life. I feel scared at the thought of doing most things and fearful towards my future. It's a truly horrible ailment and as far as I know there is no cure.
I've tried curing myself with several different courses Anti-depressants. However these have an equally negative impact on my life via side effects so feel I can't rely on these. Benzodiazepines such as Diazepam helps me relax and sleep, but I lose my sharpness, alertness and feel tired if I take these plus they are not a long term solution due to potential for addiction. I wonder if there is a drug which will make a significant reduction to these feelings of worry and persistent tenseness in my stomach?
So far doctors I've seen have been pretty useless. When I ask for alternative treatments I often just get a "I don't know what to suggest. I guess you have to just live with it" response. CBT and conventional therapy isn't an answer for me and I think once that and 4 or 5 ADs fail, there doesn't seem to be much help.
I might see if a diet or life routine change could effect how I feel? The only thing that comes to mind which I should probably change is reducing sugar and perhaps fat in my diet. I don't eat a massive excess of bad foods, but feel I could do more to eat healthier. I'll also continue to see if there are other treatments of helping to rid myself of this.
I wondered why I feel anxious all the time? Is my body overly affected by stress hormones and neurotransmitters or perhaps it's producing such hormones too readily? It almost seems irrelevant as from what I can find, there is no sure-fire way to treat my GAD (generalized anxiety disorder).
According to scientists they believe anxiety and GAD are a combo of biological and environmental issues. Seems obvious! And so to relieve anxiety one must re-regulate imbalances in brain chemistry and changes to physical brain functioning- Regulation of serotonin, norepinephrine and gamma-aminobutyric acid in the brain can relieve anxiety. On top of that, feeling in control on one's external life plays a big part in one's mental state.
As long as I am dealing with anxiety and an increased negative response to new and unknown, or known situations, my journey through life will be a tough one. I had/have big ambitions to achieve success in various aspects of my life but am hindered by afflictions such as GAD. It is wrong to compare myself to the next man when I am at a disadvantage. Knowing I have to struggle gives me a small degree of comfort when I am not attaining the same as the next man, but that still doesn't stop me from wanting to achieve great things within my life. I have done well to achieve as much as I have despite my problems and will continue to push myself as far as I can.
One other thing I often theorize is desensitizing myself to life. The idea is to get stuck into things which scare me in an attempt to realize such things aren't so bad after all. The problems are- this can potentially be be a stressful and traumatic experience for me, so I am reluctant to put myself in a place of pain on the off chance it will be beneficial. Second, I want to experience positive references from engaging in new experiences. I could continually attempt new things I'm not prepared for, but feel that the constant negative feelings of humiliation, rejection, loneliness and failure will result in fuelling my fears and leave me even more house-bound and anxious.
Perhaps there is as way to do new things with people I feel comfortable with to help turn the new experiences into enjoyable shared memories? Maybe listening to some of my favourite music while at a new venue or reading some funny jokes could help build a positive reference?
