Overcoming a Fear?

Today my friend and I discussed how overcoming a fear is more than just a case of facing it.

Using the roller coaster example: Certain rides scare the shit outta me! Not in a fun way, but in a genuine terrifying, unpleasant way. During a Theme Park visit a while back I'd attempted to face my fear of riding their most scary ride. I was anxious and fearful before I got onto AND during the ride. After the roller coaster came to a stop and I got off I felt REALLY proud of my achievement of facing a huge fear. Yet it was not something I felt I'd want to go on a second time straight after, nor several years later.

Sure, rides are supposed to be scary, but I want to be able to enjoy to thrills of the ride like everyone else. However the feelings of fear totally obscure the simultaneous positive emotion I feel I should be having. I'm still scared- Facing my fear obviously did not make me realize it wasn't so bad after all like we're all taught to expect.

People might say: "You're simply just a wimp" or "you just don't like scary rides, so live accept it". But I don't want to feel restricted by irrational fears! I know the ride is totally safe and I have nothing to worry about and until I am able to deal with a safe, fun activity in a "normal" way then I am not content.

Equally, I find it terrifying to approach strangers. A few months back I did pluck up the courage to chat to someone in a bar. It was scary as hell and not an enjoyable process, but I did it and once again felt proud of the accomplishment. A week later, I did the same thing- approached some girls in a bar for a chat and once again I had a ton of anxieties and fears before, during and after the encounter. Despite having tried approaches one week and then the next, I still feel as scared (or perhaps nearly) as I did before I'd even faced the fear!

WHY?!

Firstly perhaps getting over a fear by facing it only works if it generates a positive outcome. If the roller coaster proved to be less scary or equally thrilling and fun and if the girls I chatted to showed more interest and made me happy, then things might have worked out? I dunno.

Secondly I might have done a great job at pre-programming my mind to think something is scary that it has a placebo-type effect and becomes what I expect it to?

There is one theory we discussed which might solve the problem of fears not being conquered when faced. The idea was basically constant repetition within a short time frame. In theory this would be enough to desensitize you to the fears by creating a habit in a short time gap without space to re-establish old, fearful thought patterns.

So, for example: Go on the scary ride 5 or 6 times in a row, or approach 5 or 6 strangers a day EVERY day for a week. Hopefully this will then cement the idea that it really isn't as bad as initially perceived. Cementing the idea with an intensive course of repetition is the key.

I don't know if this would work, but would love to give it a go!

The only problem (and it is a HUGE problem) is that it takes massive amounts of courage in the first place to face one's fears. And even more courage to re-face them once you've effectively proved to your brain that this really is as bad as you've imagined it might be. Once your brain has hard evidence that something is as bad as the mental image you'd initially projected, it takes a special kind of commitment to carry on and persevere despite this. It seems to me to be on par with considering putting one's own life in risk!

[Side note: For more positive thinkers/mind-sets, recovering from failure is a lot easier as is a general positive interpretation about attempting any particular situation in the first place. Developing an ability to interpret in a positive way might be a more important step than attempting to grind it out as above?]