Friday 9 March 2012

What's wrong with my brain?

There's so many syndromes, mental disorders and ailments out there which I recognise and could be classed as. I'm sure pretty much every single human being has at least one or two! Here are a few I've identified of myself.

In order or relevance:
  1. Atypical Depression
  2. AvPD [Avoidant personality disorder]
  3. Atychiphobia [phobia of failure]
  4. Social Anxiety & Social Phobia
  5. Existential Anxiety
  6. Thanatophobia [phobia of death] 
  7. GAD [Generalized Anxiety Disorder]
  8. Eating Disorder
  9. Major / Clinical Depressive Disorder
  10. Dysthymia & Chronic Depression (Long term)
  11. Circadian Rhythm Disorder/s
  12. Mild Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
  13. SAD [Seasonal Effect Disorder]
  14. A small degree of OCD and Autism
  15. A small degree of Dependant Personality Disorder
I'm not a hypochondriac as there's a lot of stuff I can't really identify with. i.e.~
bi-polor depression, panic attacks, multiple personalities, the personality disorders: boarder line, antisocial, narcissistic, schizoid, PTS, body dysmorphic disorder, sleep disorders - to name a few.

I guess to have 15 items on a list like this is pretty worrying! Although for a lot of them you can't have one without the other, so in actual fact you could say I'm only inflicted with 5 or 6 tops. Having this kinda insight is always a good start and makes me feel a little better to know I'm not the only person dealing with these problems. I'm sure there are a lot of people like me who have ended up isolating themselves and living a very limited lifestyle through no fault of their own. The moral do-gooder in me wants to support similar people! And also want to be supported in the same way as sufferers of more obvious mental health problems or physical conditions.


Perhaps these ailments are directly what's been effecting my mood? I tried plotting out how I've been feeling recently, and this pretty much sums up recent years too! I want to get to that green state, but currently spending too much time well under a decent base mood, so will have a long way to go to get there! At least it's insightful to see a visual representation of how I feel and in comparison with other people around me.

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