Stress Sensitivity and getting in 'State'

Terminology for my "condition"


I had previously thought my personality and those similar to me could be described as "INTJs (see MBTI) with low 'emotional stability' (see Global Big 5)". However the term "Emotional Stability" doesn't seem to fit. I feel as though I have my emotions in check and perhaps even better than a lot of 'normal' people. Instead I would consider that 'Sensitivity to Stress' is a better lable and indicator when assessing my, or anyone else's personality, amongst several other key factors.


Stress

The fact I often feel stuck, anxious and fearful of future and at times present situations, doesn't seem typical of most people I observe in my day to day life and have recently made a conscious effort to compare and consider this. One very probable reason I suffer in my day to day life and one thing that holds me back despite a fair degree of intelligence and wealth of self help knowledge is high sensitivity to stress. Everyone gets a little nervous when meeting someone new, performing in activities, taking small risks or initiative at work, but for me this feeling seems to be amplified A LOT!

Having lived as me my whole life, it's difficult to realize if I am over-reactiving to stimuli due to a form of stupidity, irrational thoughts, from possessing a weak character, OR, more likely, something completely out of my control. Although there's no way to know for sure unless I could literally experience someone else's existence, or perhaps have an MRI scan and accompanied analysis. I am starting to realize that I don't have the amount of success financially, in relationships, with my art and hobbies, or even sports I deserve and could be capable of due to FUCKING HUGE set backs totally out of my control!
I'm not trying to make excuses and analyse myself objectively. It's not laziness, lack imagination or know-how which often hinders my progress to success and growth, but an ever present fear and elevated stress levels due to my largely uncontrollable physiology.


Being "In State", at ease, chilled, relaxed, primed for optimistic thought:



Over the last few months I've noticed several short periods where I would feel different- the super intense stress and apprehension leaves me. I'm not thinking about my: future, performance, inadequateness and am just being 'me'! I feel a degree of freedom, enjoyment and happiness I seldom recognise. Examples would be driving to see a friend in London with my favourite tunes playing in the car, wandering around a shopping mall on my own and trying on clothes, or initial worries of going somewhere unfamiliar melting away- when I'd go to a busy barbers to get a hair cut and also then stand outside with a drink watching unaware people go about their little lives while I wait to be seen. I imagine this may be how most 'normal' people I've observed live their lives constantly (or at least most of the time).


I would FUCKING LOVE to experience this care-free, excited, optimistic, can-do attitude and state of mind more often, but it really is a rarity and have been unable to find something consistently effective in putting me into such a state and especially if I'm in a negative thought spiral/loop.

So far I have discovered what I currently call "the fuel of hope"- it's a short term influence which can get me into State or help me towards it. However, the influence loses it's power the more it's tapped into and like fuel, it's eventually spent. Examples would be the first time I heard an inspiring Anthony Robins talk or a Real Social Dynamics lecture. Amazing music, art, movies and comedy can have a small impact also. Finding truly inspirational material or people isn't easy, but I will always keep an eye out in the interim while I search for a way of developing a more permanent, deep-level positive and free State.


To summarize this post:

I believe I am more stress sensitive than the average man. Why? Can this be changed? Can I learn new ways to cope with my affliction? I don't know the answers.


I have experienced a more care free, enjoyable state of mind in the past. I want to experience this more often and aim to relinquish many automatic worries and fears in time. Inspirational 'fuel' can do this, but perhaps there are other drastic ways to make lasting positive changes?